"Soon." I said, "Soon!" Then I quickly changed the subject to my artwork on display at Elliot Smith Contemporary Art. As most of you know I'm skilled at avoiding an issue by changing the subject. "Here," I said handing her my new business card with Elliot's web address. "Just go to the Artist icon and you can view my work on the internet." Over the years I've found visual aids help reinforce a diversion in a conversation.
It occurred to me later that the point on Bud's Story was partly to help me learn to deal with stress, conflict and depression in a way other than concealment. With that in mind I like to apologize to my friend for deceiving her. I hate for all you to think that I haven't learned anything over these past several months. This is why I write you this letter. To come clean and address the issues.
I must also confess my character Bud's avid infatuation with pornography, violence and necrophilia was a big mistake and inevitably led to the cancellation. A Freudian might think this was a subliminal attempt to derail my own recovery, that I didn't really want to open up and reveal my feelings, but I think it happened because Bud was a freak. A clever and sadistic freak of fiction that invaded my world and reeked havoc on my family and social life.
Critic's of "Bud's Story" have said things like, "A disjointed and confusing tail…", "An absolutely irreverent treatment of such an important…", "…the grammar and spelling of a dim eight year old." Astute observations, which I confess, left me speechless. Somehow, trying to pick up the pieces of my of my shattered literary integrity seems pointless. Maybe I'll go back to waiting tables or painting houses. I just don't know…
I would like to thank my sponsors and the various Websites that hosted Bud’s Story. I especially like to thank those who stuck with me to the bitter end. You know who you are. And of course, thanks to the fans who always seemed to have a good outlook despite Bud's and mine relentless despair. I'd promise you all, that someday if I'm able to sort everything out (between me and my publisher, family, psychiatrist, Bud, Bud and my psychiatrist, David Lynch…) I will bring "Bud's Story" back. Hopefully, this time Bud's a well adjusted and productive member of society. A role model to whom we can aspire. Kind of like Gandhi Or Nelson Mandela, for the time being I’m posting an archive edition of “Bud’s Story”, if for nothing more a reminder of the unlikelihood of that happening.
Thank you kindly,